Today, we sadly learned about the passing of another iconic legend – the brilliant and funny, Carl Reiner – a staple in most of our lives for decades on the television and in movies including, “The Dick van Dyke Show” which he helped create – as well as dozens of others.
Although I didn’t know him as well personally, he had been a close friend of my parents. My mother, (then Natalie Chapman), worked on the legendary television program “Your Show of Shows” with Sid Caesar and Imogene Coca in the 1950’s – as the production secretary to the show’s producer, Max Liebman. There she was in the presence of those iconic writers and performers – Mel Brooks, Joe Stein (“Fiddler on the Roof”); Mel Tolkein, Lucille Kallen, Woody Allen, Neil Simon, and Howard Morris, among others. “Enter Laughing” was a play written by Joe Stein in 1963 about how Carl Reiner entered into show business – which was made into a movie in 1967, where Carl made his directorial debut.
In the early 1960s, my grandmother Anna, (my dad’s mom), used to babysit for Carl and Estelle’s youngest son, Lucas Reiner – the much younger sibling of Rob Reiner and his sister Annie. Carl’s wife Estelle used to sing and play the ukulele and liked to schedule short cabaret evenings of strumming and song at the Cinegrill, Luna Park & The Vine Street Bar and Grill in Los Angeles, where my parents would go to hear her perform. My mother kept in touch with him randomly and would go to his book signings, being gifted with several inscribed copies of his books, whenever they came out.
My late father, Hal Goodman, had also been a veteran comedy writer (although not a performer) and had passed away in 1997. We were so lucky that Carl agreed to officiate over my dad’s memorial, which was held at the Writer’s Guild Theatre in Beverly Hills. I think Carl had something to do with my parents meeting each other – a story he told at my dad’s memorial. Thankfully, we still have my dad’s memorial on tape – but it’s on VHS and I haven’t transferred it to a CD and my memory has faded in the last 23 years since that service.
Over the years, Carl generously presided over many celebrity memorials for close friends who had died – and he became the one you hoped would live long enough to either “Roast” you or be the “Keynote Speaker and Raconteur” at your memorial – where he would tell funny stories and keep you laughing – even though someone dear to you had passed on. While I have no idea of whether Victoria Zackheim knew Carl Reiner (but have to imagine she did) – I just came across a published anthology called: EXIT LAUGHING – How Humor Takes the Sting Out of Death – a book of collected stories she edited about humor and dying in 2012. When someone famous died, my father would say with a wry smile, “They’re calling in our class.”
In 2014, my mom and I went to Mount Sinai to attend the memorial of Sid Caesar and we were fully expecting Carl to be there. When we inquired about his absence, we heard he had been unwell. I immediately felt disappointed and thought to myself, “Oh, No. How can this be?” It felt like something was missing. A room where you couldn’t quite put your finger on why the air wasn’t crackling with anticipation that you were going to feel good, even if you felt sad. Sid’s memorial was still funny – but surprisingly, wasn’t taped for posterity. Because if it had, one would have been treated to a yarmulked Jon Voight – a tall, blonde Nordic movie star – who, aside from his iconic, dark and intense performances in “Midnight Cowboy” and “Coming Home” (and who regularly hosted the yearly Jewish Chabad Telethons), delivered some very humorous stories which surprised and delighted some of the more curmudgeonly Jewish comedians like Richard Lewis and Billy Crystal who were in reverenced attendance to pay tribute to Sid Caesar. These memorials are so important to hold because we learn so much about someone we thought we knew…but sometimes didn’t. Please videotape your loved one’s memorials – as you don’t want to miss and lose the moment where a hidden gem of a story is imparted and then lost to future generations.
I know we would attend a memorial for Carl – if there is going to be one. To not be able to honor Carl in a proper memorial gathering – complete with deli from Nate ‘n Al’s is painfully tragic. It is, in every sense of our world, NOT RIGHT! He needs to be feted and celebrated in the style to which he honored so many of his colleagues. Although his cause of death was reported not to be from the Coronavirus – this virus has taken away the right to honor and gather – and imagining a “Zoom” memorial for Carl feels like a grave betrayal. These kinds of Hollywood memorials are often packed to the pews, not-to-be-missed, SRO events. I do hope they will schedule a proper future memorial for him when the world opens back up. I just watched the incredible HBO documentary Carl starred in and produced called “If You’re Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast!” – a must-watch for those who want to be uplifted and find out the secrets to longevity from some very savvy nonagenarians! (Those in their 90’s) https://www.hbo.com/documentaries/if-youre-not-in-the-obit-eat-breakfast. Some of these performers are among the last of the Comedic Rat Pack which thankfully still boasts Mel Brooks, Dick van Dyke, Betty White, Norman Lear, Ed Asner, Bob Newhart, Cloris Leachman, and Tony Bennett. And sadly this spring we lost the icons, Jerry Stiller and Kirk Douglas.
When reporters wanted to do retrospective pieces about the Golden Age of Television for magazines like Vanity Fair or the NY Times – Carl, Mel Brooks, and my mom were usually interviewed as reliable, still-living historians of things like, “Did Mel Brooks really dangle Sid Caesar out of a window?” and other well-known antics from that famous writer’s room. They were among some of the last credible historians of a time when the world felt safer. Just watching re-runs of “The Dick van Dyke Show” and “I Love Lucy” and anything else from that time brings so much comfort to my nervous system, especially during this time when the news is so bleak and scary.
In 1967, when I was eleven, CBS reunited the cast and crew of “Your Show of Shows” in a Reunion Special and my mom went to work on that event. That is how she resumed her work life after having kids – and then went on to work on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour and becoming Tom Smothers secretary for 10 years. As my mom continues to lose her dwindling circle of friends, she always wonders, will she be next? I’m afraid to invoke that old adage, “Time will tell.”
Rest in peace, Carl. Thank you for your comedic service to this country. Laughter at this time in history is one of the only things that is keeping this country from hanging out of the window from the 29th Floor and actually jumping. Thank God for Randy Rainbow.
You have kept us safe and sane for so many years – and for that, we humbly salute YOU.
And, in honor of your most important wish, we will get out there and ROCK that VOTE!