So a little shout out goes to The Geffen Playhouse Staff, Ashton Kutcher & Mila Kunis…
I took my mom to the Geffen last night to see “THE CAKE” with Debra Jo Rupp who was DELICIOUSLY GREAT! (I highly recommend it!). It’s playing through mid-October in the smaller Audrey Skirball Kenis theatre and I bought tickets several weeks ago as my mom enjoys going to the theatre. I decided to select seats in the back row of the theatre on the aisle — so that my mom would be able to see and not have an obstructed view. Our last foray to the Geffen see the play “Our Very Own Carson McCullough” and the proscenium set was high and, as we were in the front row on the floor, we had to crane our necks to watch. The tix prices vary greatly between several rows so I opted for the back row aisle seats because I thought, why not? It’s a small theatre and shouldn’t be a problem. OY.
We were the first ones to enter the theatre and the usher was there to help us to our seats. When my mom, (with her walker), was told she’d have to climb a few low steps to get to the seats echoed that she couldn’t get up there. She walks up far more stairs in her house which I was surprised about. Immediately, the house manager went to work to find us alternative seats while I went to re-park the car which had been temporarily parked in a loading zone while I dropped her off.
When I returned, I now found her newly relocated, smack in the center, seated next to a small, dark haired woman and a tall, handsomely boyish man. As I’m no longer in casting and “out of the loop”, so to speak, my ‘Spidey’ sense emerged with a blurry sense of recognition and said to myself, “Boy, he looks familiar — who is that? Within seconds I realized it was Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis — two regular people just out of an evening of theatre. It dawned on me later that Debra Jo Rupp played his mom on “That ’70’s Show.” The seats were undoubtedly ‘House Seats’ (which usually mean center seats – 7-10 rows from the stage depending on the venue). The chairs sat low because they were only one row raised from floor. The seats are also wide and small people like us needed a booster seat or phone book (TBT – Remember phone books?) to prop ourselves up. Curling myself under my legs wasn’t going to help. I sank into seat like an old arm chair in need of an upholstery fluff. All the people in front of us were in folding chairs on the floor level and happened to be very large and tall patrons (it was like VIKINGS had descended on the Geffen — or they were relatives of the actor who was to play the husband in the show who was 6’3 and chunky. The tour bus from the Big and Tall Store had descended on this intimate venue. Still, neither of us could see the stage. Thus began my new dialogue with the house manager that my mom still couldn’t see.
While I was busy dealing with that, Ashton and Mila (my mom’s new acquaintances) decided together to switch seats with her. Mila is just as tiny as my mother so that didn’t really help her view of the stage either. I didn’t know what to say. That helped for a minute until more tall people showed up and once again, away I went to try to discuss alternative seat possibilities. The house staff did their level best to speak to other seated patrons, asking them to switch seats, politely get up as we shuffled in and out of rows and move us around. It was crazy. Our original seats were still unused. I longed to be up, up and away.
Meanwhile, the 8:00pm curtain time was on ‘Stand By’ as they quickly deposited us into the premium aisle seats I was going to buy originally — had I decided to pony up the extra money for the higher priced seats. Everyone was patient and thoughtful and I was very grateful. Amy Levinson, (the newly named Associate Director and long-time Dramaturge of the Geffen is a longtime family friend so I dropped her name just to let them know we were a supporter of the Geffen and knew a few people). They were unfazed and would have bent over backwards for any audience member to have a good experience at the theatre. Kudos to the staff!
Ultimately, the way the show was staged from where we were now sitting had several characters talking with their backs to the audience and made some scenes impossible to fully view. Frustratingly, there were people in front of us who again blocked that view — and while I had a clear opening, I could tell my mom could not see. I wanted to move my mom to my seat but dared not interrupt the play as there was no intermission. I had also ordered her a headset but they had the kind that goes into your ear which she hates (instead of the older over-the-ear kind of ear muffs which are better for her). She tried to put it on over her head and put it over her eyes like 3-D glasses — it was a fiasco. So all in all, she missed most of the play — but, as it turns out, I was left with a good story to share.
While we were chatting with M & A, they found out my mom was 97. They thought she looked amazing (which she usually does) and was impressed that she was able to be out enjoying theatre. M had shared that her grandmother of 97 had just passed away and another relative who was 94 had told she told her that when all of your friends die, you just don’t want to be around anymore. This is really hard. My mom has lost a number of close friends this past year and recently asked me if she has any friends left. Totally heartbreaking — which is why I still take her to the theatre. She loves live theatre and gave me the gift of taking me to plays when I was younger. Luckily, she has a few friends left — but many of the people she hangs out with are the children of her best friend’s.
I shared with them the pix of John, a lovely man we met last year, who gave up his seat to my mom at the doctor’s office who was 102 1/2. (I tried to set them up on a lunch date which never materialized — only to find out last week when we ran into him again at the doctor’s off that he has digestion problems and lives on a liquid diet). I told M & A that the secret to my mom’s beauty and long life was that she is never angry and never toxic. I also shared John’s philosophy that his secret to a long life is that he just tells people to F***K Off. Mila was amused by this and was happy to get two major life lessons on the secret of longevity. I was happy I could return their kindness and give something back. Thank you to Mila & Ashton for their kindness and adaptability. Sometimes, it’s simply All About the Icing on the Cake and sometimes, it’s just, All About the EVE. Namaste. 
. Namaste.