THE LOSS of ANOTHER HOLLYWOOD LEGEND
By Elisa R. Goodman
8/31/21
News spread like a California wildfire this past Sunday when another beloved Hollywood icon left our planet – the lovable (but ever crusty),
ED ASNER.
ED ASNER, one of our favorite, quintessential television and feature film curmudgeons (famously playing ‘Lou Grant’ on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” and the grumpy neighbor in the brilliant, animated feature, “UP”) had been a friend of my parents for many years, not only because their paths crossed during the Golden Age of Television, but through many Democratic fundraisers and events where “Card-Carrying members of the Hollywood Elite” would strike, petition and speak out for justice – a staple of the 70s, 80s, and 90s for many who didn’t think twice about stirring up “Good Trouble.”
My mom also represented him for speaking engagements on college and university campuses with her company, BG Speaker’s Bureau, which she co-owned with her best friend from Fairfax High School, Pauline Buck.
Several years ago, my mom and I decided to stop for a casual dinner at Mary and Robb’s, a tucked-away family-run coffee shop on Westwood Blvd near UCLA. It was June 28th – which just happened to be my birthday.
After we ordered, I dashed to the bathroom to wash my hands – and on my way back to our table, I briefly noticed a man who looked slightly familiar – yet his face didn’t entirely register. When I sat down my back was to him – but I soon picked up a recognizable cadence from one of the two people who were in conversation behind me. I cocked an ear, got quiet amongst the errant white-noise chatter, and – because my mom was hard of hearing – scribbled a note to her on a napkin: “I think Ed Asner is sitting behind us. You have to get up and say hello.”
She said, “Oh, no, he wouldn’t remember me.” I insisted – partly because it was my birthday and I knew it would make a great story – and partly because I liked having her connect with people from her past as there seemed to be dwindling opportunities for her to do so.
Ed was having dinner with Samuel Warren Joseph, a writer who was co-authoring Ed’s autobiography, “Son of a Junkman.” I also wanted to connect with Ed because several years before I had written a funny memoir of sorts called, “Life’s Too Short to Spend with Assholes – A ‘Skewed’ Look into the ART of Daily Living.” In my book there is an illustrated character I named “Bruno” who is a curmudgeon. To this day, many people I meet do not know what a curmudgeon is – and always ask me why I named my greeting card company CURMUDGEON CARDS. And so, in this particular chapter where Bruno’s caption says, “A Curmudgeon Lives Here,” I explain the dictionary definition of a curmudgeon as “an irascible old man” (I have since redefined that personality trait as “lovable, but crusty”).
I also provided examples in the book of many famous people who are branded as curmudgeons. Ed Asner is listed in second position – right under Walter Matthau (of “The Odd Couple Movie” – for any of you reading this who are too young to know any famous curmudgeons).
Since I had a copy of the book in the car, I ran out of the restaurant to grab it. He loved the title and graciously accepted my heartfelt homage. He excitedly chatted with my mom (of course, he remembered her) and was actually flirting with her! He was about 88 at the time and my mom must have been 96 or 97. He said he always wanted to ask her out after my dad died in 1997 – but had too much respect for my dad, who was a well-known comedy writer. Ed’s flirtatious exchanges with my mother were the cutest thing, EVER!
I must have mentioned that it was my birthday because when we finished our meal, we found out that he had generously picked up our check!
It was a spontaneous, special, birthday encounter that I will always treasure.
So many of the people from my parents’ lives were legends and they were a special breed of humans – not to be encountered again.
Rest in peace, Ed. Your liberal pals, Carl Reiner, Hal & Natalie Goodman, will be waiting to greet you – probably with a hearty, “What the hell took YOU so long?”